Who am I as Nanxi
My Not Self & Past
For the first 30 years of my life, I had every reason to be happy, yet I was unhappy. A deep-rooted sense of unworthiness to seek love and a delusion of who I thought I should be directed my trial and error journey - from childhood to motherhood, to divorce.
No matter what level of success I had achieved in life, no matter how glamorous my masks were as a role model for others, the suffocation and despair of ‘prostituting who I am for who I am not’, enslaving for others’ identity in order to prove my value of existence, continued to strike me from time to time. That is, until the Human Design system demystified every coping mechanism for my unnecessary struggle, deconstructed my illusion for how and why I suffered the way I did, and finally empowered me to see what is already here has always been here - acceptance and joy in effortlessly being different as me.
My Training Pathways
Life is learning, learning is alive in every moment of breathe.
*My personality sun at 13.6 - first gate in the Quarter of Initiation, purpose fulfilled through learning via mindAfter years of self-healing experiences, I undertook extensive training including restorative yoga, psychotherapy, movement therapy, clinical hypnosis and functional nutrition therapy, as well as immersing myself in Somatic Educator and Human Design Analyst/Guide trainings, including DreamRave, Penta, Sociology, Differentiation Degree, and Cosmology (ongoing). My current interest is in studying Evolutional Astrology with Steven Forrest and Psychological Astrology with Liz Greene. All of my experiences in learning diverse healing modalities have created my unique therapeutic style to support each individual’s own needs and wants for potential transformation and growth.
For all my life, I was trying to be special and pursued every intellectual modality to prove I could be good enough to deserve love and recognition…until encountering Human Design, I finally embraced my ordinary humanness, and became deeply mesmerised by my humbling experience of waking up and feeling alive — breathing in the wonder of the simplicity in becoming another magical day of me.
Nothing needs to be special about me, and nothing needs to be originated from me — all my accumulated knowledge has come from those teachers before me. The teachers who influenced me deeply are those who embody and express simple living truth, like Alokanand Diaz and Ra Uru Hu (Human Design), Bonnie Bainbridge (Body Mind Centering), Steven Forrest (Evolutional Astrology), Geordi Jahner (Open Floor), Eli (enneagram) and Gangaji (non-duality teaching).
The most profound training is unlearning to learn, and unknowing to know: what truly matters to me can only come from my living wisdom gained through my own life’s struggles as being a mother, a daughter, and my confrontation of my vulnerability in its rawness.
My practice today is all about coming back to my ‘home’, where I can feel unconditionally self-loved while effortlessly being who I am, accepting fully my flaws and vulnerability in the midst of life’s uncontrollable flow.
When I become nobody and nothing, I am truly free.
Check out nanxiasnobody, my expression of individuality through art.
In Human Design language, I have been a receptive listener (p/sun 13.6), objectively feeling into the roots of people’s stories of suffering, with an optimistic reframing approach to accept how things were the way they were supposed to be, perfectly imperfect just as they were.
By mirroring the pure spirit underneath everyone’s masks of humanity, I could guide others with my breakthrough insights (d/sun.earth 43-23), embrace pain and wounds as the wisdom learned from their experiential journeys, while surrendering to the transitory nature of life in between the past and future (p/earth 7.6). My channel of struggling (28-38), when recognized and invited by the right person at the right time, could also empower others to struggle for their unique differentiated purpose in life.
My 6/2 profile prefers a macro lens to observe the big picture, as zooming out offers me the window to objectively see the truth rather than being locked into the factual details. This is why I love applying sociology to my therapeutic practices. Being natural and authentic is what I value most.
My personality (Mars at 25.6) loves to unconditionally support everyone in their transformational journey to come back to self-love through self-acceptance (wisdom from my undefined G, Ego); while my logical format channel (52-9) shares concentrated solutions for people to de-pattern from their habitual sufferings with stillness in focus.
My True Self & Presence
Who am I here for
Only if you are ready and willing to meet your own truth and start taking ownership of your precious life, then this is for you. I respect people who are loyal and courageously fighting for their unique truth and self-love no matter what.
Instead of guilting, shaming, blaming, faulting…my role is to empower you to de-condition from your beliefs/opinions on who you thought you should/could/must/have to be, and to truly see yourself as no more or less a human for who you already are.
I am here to help you discern whether it is necessary to continue the pain, or to release yourself from your distorted not-self stories. I provide practical solutions and strategies for you to experiment in your everyday living and to go through the de-conditioning process with tenderness and kindness to yourself - and to become your own teacher or role model as you navigate through your own trajectory.
Living truthful as yourself doesn’t mean you are supposed to be any different than who you already are, but rather you become more aware of the roots of your own suffering, and understand your own potential to make decisions differently than you used to.